Personality & Golden Throat

"Golden Throats" mostly are actors from film and television who were put up to the task of recording. While a few had singing ability, most failed miserably at the attempt, and many resorted to speech or "talk-singing." Despite the general lack of crooning ability, the expectations of stars were huge. Golden Throats, or their producers, sought the brass ring of hokey theatricality, often surpassing even go-nowhere lounge acts in desperation. Pretty faces, who could not and should not have emitted song, resorted to gruff, [tongue-in-cheek] love poetry and weirder gimmickery.

Notorious Golden Throats include Star Trek actors and the industry gag, Mrs. Miller. An ordinary housewife character who could not carry a tune to save her life, she was photographed in a psychedelic dress behind a plate of green "brownies" and charged with singing drug-reference songs. Like Mrs. Miller but with greater chutzpah was Dora Hall, heiress to the Solo (Dixie) Cup fortune. She "vanity published" album after album of abysmal covers of otherwise venerable rock hits.

Sullying the idiom still further were warbling politicians, exalting religious leaders, and stammering sports stars. Badsong abounds in comedy, spoofs, burlesque, satire, commercial tie-ins, and other idioms needing a boost from star power. The boost often came at a price; indeed the hallmark of astounding "personality" albums is compromised integrity. Should we have trusted television journalist Mike Wallace after he shilled for Zenith? Should we have bought a Zenith because it was Mike Wallace who read the script? Only one thing is certain: the ironic value in hindsight.

The sensationally awful did not always surpass the talented. Almost every popular "Golden Age" television series led to at least one record, from cartoons to cult shows such as "I Dream of Jeannie." And in many cases a hit single justifiably created public demand for an album. Successful albums led to spin-offs, notably the several terrific Warner Bros. albums with Connie Stevens and her costars from hit shows. Legitimate "thrushes" such as Linda Lawson, particularly those with singing roles on television, wowed audiences before both camera and microphone.

Not every singing actor is a Golden Throat. The great multi-talented stars of stage, screen, and studio --Fred Astaire, Eartha Kitt, Josephine Premice, Lena Horne, Annette Funicello, Ann-Margret, Tiny Tim, etc.-- are true singers. And it may be unfair to damn as Golden Throat abominations all the misguided crossover LPs, such as calypso and Hawaiian albums by country-western singers. Finally, a few key Hollywood figures, for instance exotica fans William Holden and Jon Hall, produced some fine musical albums (listed elsewhere).

See also: Hyp Records/Vinyl Safari's calypso & Hawaiian pages.

Buying: Start with Warner Bros. and descend to the murky depths of Dora Hall (and worse) as you dare. Especially hazardous are albums by Shatner, Cabot, and Quinn.